I'm not OK

Every time I come home I break down- and nobody has to know, except now of course that I talk openly about it here. Maybe because years ago I fell in love and got burned. But lately I realized that love has a habit of coming back. I'm feeling things I shouldn't be feeling again. I don't want to acknowledge this. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. And it's killing me- because we're so close and miles apart. I'm trying to get rid of it in my system. Somehow I'm getting there. Sometimes I relapse. And I beak down again, fall apart, telling the world I"m perfectly fine. The truth is I'm not- because I'm in love.