Maya

I could not forget that day when someone came up to me and Maya and asked if we were best friends (-i recall I we were ib first year high school then, and we were in a noisy classroom). I guess being denied by someone you thought had mutual affection for you is just difficult to forget. "Dili oi, close friends lang mi" [Hindi ah, close friends lang kami] she said with seriousness, but of clear innocence that her words hit me right in the forehead --yet hurt my heart the most.
So, I had to live with it. She was my best friend, but I wasn’t hers.
After a year, we had a big fight –our first fight. It was when we had a group presentation at school, and she and my other classmates left me alone onstage when it was time for the teacher to ask questions. Because my crush was watching, I felt extra nervous and high strung. I blamed my group mates for everything (including, secretly, my embarrassment in front of my crush), forgetting that I really should’ve prepared for the questioning, since I was the group leader.
I was mad at all my group mates, but my fury over Maya was especially intense, though I didn’t know exactly why. I could only guess that it was my jealousy over her own best friend and my frustrations that went with it, taking toll, for I have hidden it well over time. Maybe I wasn’t really mad at her for leaving me alone up there, unable to respond to the teacher. Maybe I just found it as a chance to finally get mad at her, for a valid reason --A valid reason, unlike jealousy.