Sorry

Rut isn't how I would want to put it (because that would be an understatement)...

But yeah. I was in a major rut lately. Did I just say major? Yeah. Well...

And I just want to say sorry to everyone that I've wronged these past couple of months... my mom and dad maybe. No. My mom and and dad. I'm so sorry for being the horrible person that I am. I should be ashamed for not being ashamed of what I've been doing. You guys already might have had the slightest idea of what actions or non-actions it is. But what you know wasn't even the half of it.

I was in a major rut.

Someday I may open about it. Maybe with some beer and time... when I'm looking back at all the stupid things I've been doing in my careless days and the actions I could have done to correct it.

Maybe, then, well as if it's not funny now, that I'm going to find humor in it.

And normally, I wouldn't do this, but I would also ask apology to everyone, in one way or another, I have directly or indirectly alienated. I don't have to present a list, do I?

But I'm going to own up to what I did, said or perhaps wrote about you people. I'm not going to defend myself. I wronged you and I'm sorry.

To myself, dude, I'm sorry for being the person that I am. It's not going to be all fun ride I tell you. I always have this habit of destroying myself. And I am bound to be hated. I will always be saying things other people wish they could.

And I'd be always, like, "well shit happens". But just because I'm always spiraling down, doesn't mean I like it. Maybe I do, but sometimes, I wish it were different.

Nah.

Okay, maybe I don't at times. Hey it's not like I can do anything about it. Again, sorry, I can. Yeah I CAN. But you do know I'm such a sloth and Satan's spawn right?

God did I just argue with myself?Hahaha.

If I were to be born again into this world, I'd pick to be myself in a heartbeat.

Or not.Ha

But bottomline is, Im sorry. I'm really, really sorry.

I don't say it that often, but when I do, I really mean it.